Story behind kroosh ma song
In the year 2014 God inspired me to write this song and it is also the year when I was born again in spirit and decided to follow Jesus wholeheartedly or become an ardent follower of our saviour Jesus.
When I was 2 years old, my family accepted Jesus as our saviour. I grew up in an environment where I used to listen to God’s word almost everyday. Everything was good until 2010 which was also the year I got baptized. 2011 to 2013 was the darkest years of my life and as a believer that was the time when I felt totally disconnected with God. Yes, I was a believer and I was living my life as a good believer, going to church, singing gospel songs, leading worship, as a matter of fact it was all on the outside, just for the name sake but deep inside I was in despair and my life was going through complete chaos. My family was going through financial difficulties and simultaneously my elder brother was sick and admitted in the hospital (Seva Sadan hospital, Kalimpong).
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| My Brother- Hem Kumar Thapa |
Let me briefly talk about my brother, my elder brother (Hem Kumar Thapa) is handicapped by birth and we accepted Jesus because of him. He is a blessing to our family and we all love him so much. We are really thankful to God for blessing our family with sucha good man of God ‘dada’ (brother) in our lives!
After my family accepted Jesus as our saviour, God healed my brother. We saw God's miracle, and our relatives saw it too, and many accepted Jesus as their saviour after seeing God’s miraculous work in my brother’s life. My brother used to do some of the household work and his own work by himself, like sweeping around the house, fixing old and broken gadgets, etc., and he was very mischievous. Unfortunately, the day came when everything turned upside down. My dada had an accident at home, and he stacked up the stools to get something from the top of the wardrobe (Godrej). He fell down from the top and broke his arms, and other body parts were also harmed because of that accident. Dada didn’t receive immediate medical attention because he hid what happened to him from the family for awhile. After that incident, he was completely bedridden and weak, and he couldn’t do anything on his own. Only after he was bedridden did he tell the family about what happened to him, but it was too late.
The doctor wasn’t responding well to our questions; maybe he knew it wasn't possible to cure dada. He said, “Use regular medicines that I’ve prescribed; everything is in the hands of God; don’t lose hope. Dada got discharged from the hospital after being admitted for almost a month. With so many things going on in my family, my faith in God was slowly fading away. I dropped school and completely stopped going to church, and I often used to make other plans with friends on Sundays to avoid going to church.
One day, when I was returning home from Singtam, Sikkim listening to a Hindi song (Darmiyah) in full volume (that was my favourite song at that time), and I fell into a deep sleep. I woke up hearing a loud thud and found my right cheek pressed up against the window glass. The bus was completely tilted on the right towards the edge of the road and almost toppled off the road into the Testa River. It was complete chaos in the bus; the passengers were screaming in horror and crying out for help, and we were stuck in there for a while. At that moment, I didn’t think of anything only a word came into my mouth, and that was ‘JESUS’. That time I realised that I had created a huge gulf between myself and God; it was so hard for me to cry out to him for help and to say, 'Jesus, help me’. But our God is a wonderful God; he will never leave us nor forsake us, and even though I failed him many times, he saved me; he gave me a new life so that I could turn back to him and live for his glory. He was still there for me even when I was completely mingled in the worldly yoke. I didn't have the guts to say anything further, but one single word (Jesus) took our tilted bus straight from the edge to the road. It felt like teleportation. Everybody was amazed on the bus, only I knew it was God who did the miracle. I was completely senseless and didn’t utter a single word until I reached home. My mom told me to have dinner but I denied it and went directly to my room. All I wanted to do was ‘repent’ and thank God for his unfailing love. I took my guitar out and started singing but the circumstances that I was in had made my heart like a stone. It was so hard for me to cry and repent. I started worshipping God continuously from 7 p.m. until 10:30 p.m., but I still felt empty and far from him. I wasn’t willing to let go of the burden that I had carried for so long. All of a sudden, around 11 p.m., God spoke to me in a very small voice, 'Turn to Galatians 2:20'. I was confused about whether the chapter or the verse existed in the Bible. I took my Bible, turned the pages, and started searching for the exact chapter and verse. Sliding through the pages, I finally found Galatians 2:20. I was astonished to see the verse and started reading it. As I was reading, I could feel God’s presence in that very moment; I could see darkness shifting away and light coming through. I could feel that he had wrenched all my chains apart and broke the shackles into pieces, I FELT FREE. God removed my heart of stone and changed it into a heart of flesh. (Ezekiel 36: 26-27)
I started singing this verse repeatedly, and God helped me to complete 'KROOSH MA' that night.
That day, I returned home to my father like a prodigal son. I really felt like when I was still a long way off, my heavenly father saw me coming and, filled with love and compassion, ran towards me and embraced me. (Luke 15: 20-32)
This song is about the life I will be living from now onwards and it is only for Christ no matter what wonderful or terrible things come my way.
Song link- Kroosh Ma
I'm Dipen Magar. Initially, I'm a passionate Christ follower and a writer although I make mistakes, But that is how we learn, isn't? We are living in the world where everyday inspiration and motivation is becoming necessity to move forward and to think for a second or few, that is what i can help you with by sharing testimonials and word of God, which really helped me through my struggles to overcome it and I believe it will help you too. Your help and advice will boost my confidence so feel free to share How can i be more helpful. Thank you!